When you are internally broken, don’t sweep those pieces under an imaginary carpet and falsely believe that by this, your troubles are over. I wish things were this easy. Take it from me: a hurricane may visit anytime, and the next thing you’ll see is all these fragments attacking you at every angle. And trust me, you DON’T want that to happen.
The only (but difficult) solution that worked for me is: you have to face them one by one. You have to painstakingly glue yourself back into place or grow new, better parts. This is honestly the best way to heal. This won’t happen overnight, and may not happen in a month or two, but it will eventually happen.
During the first months after my divorce, I didn’t know what to do. “How do I get better again? I don’t feel like living anymore. I don’t trust anything or anybody. Everything is fake. This whole life is a lie. I’m surrounded by b*stards.”
However, a tired, little voice in the back of my head begged me not to give up. “This is your chance! Think of all the magic you can do! Think of the wonderful person you could be! Think of this!! Think of that!!” Slowly, I struggled up to my knees. I wanted to prove everyone wrong (including myself), and that I CAN be a wonderful person beyond imagination. It’s all in my power and control. What else do I have to lose?
I tried and tested several things during my healing process, and below are 5 fun ideas to start with (in no particular order). And for those anti-exercise girls, the list does not include “Go to the Gym” – just yet. Some ideas may be pricey which I had to financially plan for, and some others are reasonable and can be done without causing a hole in your budget. The idea is to have fun while you heal!
Before I share this list though, please note that you should take your time to grieve and be sad. Don’t kill that process. Take your time. You’ve been through a lot. If you abort the process before you are ready, you will be vulnerable and attacked by depression at the most unexpected times.
- Go see a good movie. And I stress on “good”. Don’t just go and see any movie. Some movies will only make you feel horrible. Pick one that has a good plot and positive reviews. And get some popcorn with that too. J Relax in your chair, kick back and live someone else’s movie plot for a couple of hours.
- Get a Life Coach. A life coach won’t only help you tackle your post-divorce status, s/he will also help you start launching new paths in your life and help you achieve them (note that I wrote “help”, not “do them for you”. No one will make you get off your butt unless YOU make yourself do so!). Remember those dreams that you’ve been hiding in that small box under your bed, hoping that “one day” you will get the chance to achieve them? Well, it’s time to dust off that box, open it up, and start living your glory.Many life coaches are available out there. Select the most suitable to your budget, your life style, your plans and your time.
- Give your smile a makeover. It’s incredible to look in the mirror and find a set of radiant teeth shining back at you. It’s a confidence booster, baby! Kill those cavities! Fix those teeth! Maybe even whiten them up a bit. It also takes years of your look. Ask your dentist for recommendations on teeth whitening centers.However, you’ll need to be patient during the whitening process. It may take some time (about 45 minutes) and you may feel some uncomfortable tingling during that. But really, it’s worth it. Make sure to ask the expert for details before and after the process.
- Learn a new language. Add an exotic side to your personality! Feel your brain cells fill up with excitement as you feed them another language. It’s fun and can also be for free! There are many online courses that provide free lessons at your own pace in the comfort of your home without having to drive in endless traffic. Motivate yourself by planning to travel to that country when you successfully complete your course! Get that tongue exercising, Senorita!(Rainbow recommends: Duolingo. Visit http://www.duolingo.com/)
- Ice cream Therapy. Rainbow invented this one up and it’s totally brilliant! Try a new ice cream flavor from your favorite ice cream shop every day for a week. It’s like a sweet, loving hug around your heart. And don’t raid the whole container; one scoop is enough!(Rainbow recommends: Whatever brand that makes your taste buds start hugging each other.)
More ideas will be coming in future posts. I’ll also be happy to know what worked for you!